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What happens during family constellations?

Today, family constellations are successfully practiced in counselling, therapeutic, pedagogical and medical work. Constellation work is helpful to solve problems, entanglements and conflicts in the family, at work and in life situations.

Through various questioning techniques, a picture is created, always oriented towards the question and to finding a solution that will help the client.

There is little information that is important for the session. Supporting information is mainly to be found in the invisible. The question is, where is the common thread that has the solution in the end? As a therapist, I absolutely have to follow my own intuition.

However, the solution must be found by the client himself.

The client will be able to resolve the issues as far as he is ready to do so at that moment. He sets the pace.

So it may well be that several sessions are necessary.

You can also do family constellations including other people if you have several participants and if they are willing to do so. These are then representative of the client's family members.

Here, attention is paid to postures, eye contact, reactions of the extras.

I will primarily offer family constellations online, but of course I will also be available on site.


I found this method fascinating even twenty years ago.

I was able to categorise my entanglements with others and my complicated relationships much better, was able to make peace and come to terms with issues.

Now I finally had the opportunity to study this method in more detail and completed my training in family constellations with Sabine Ruland.

The family constellation according to Ruland is about coping with personal trauma and about the relationship with family members with whom we are connected through love and compassion. The relationship between parents and children, male and female problems and the flow of love are the main themes of a constellation. We look where the flow of life and love is hindered. It's about perpetrators and victims, guilt and compensation, truth and lies, hatred, fears, the unspoken, connected and alone, responsibility and family secrets.

The family system is influenced by the ancestors, by karmic entanglements, by events, and by the ideas and beliefs of the parents. By taking into account all influences, even serious problems can be changed.

Most of the time, you start by setting up the family of origin. This consists of the parents, the siblings and the ancestors.

The Now family is the family in which we ourselves are mothers or fathers.

If there are acute problems in the Now Family, it may be necessary to set up the Now Family first.

 When starting a family, each of us carries the structures of our family of origin into the future family. In this way, the families of origin also meet in the relationship between the parents.

There are also constellations on specific topics (work, anxiety,...), organ constellations for health disorders and illnesses or couple constellations.

Questions can be, for example:

What do I need to live my own needs?

What should I change so that I ...... Reach?

How do I manage to deal with ....... better?

What should I do to .......leave behind?

It can also be questions for reorientation, such as "Where do I stand? Where do I want to go? What should I do?" or questions about clarifying your employment relationship or blockages you have.

Unconditional love cannot usually be lived in most families, but is linked to conditions and behavior. As a result, children are already learning to make an effort, to adapt, to be submissive, just to secure love and recognition.

Actually, we come into the world perfect, but we learn very early in the family and/or through our environment to make an effort, to adapt, to subordinate ourselves, just to secure love and recognition.

First and foremost, it is about bringing the client back to his strength, gaining insights, discovering patterns, being able to make decisions.

As a therapist, I give impulses, clarify things, strengthen the client to reach his potential, but the client has to find the solution himself.

We clean up on the inner level so that the client no longer follows the concepts of others, but his own.

For the constellation work, we use certain tools, our intuition, various questioning techniques, possibly the family board with wooden dolls, heart cards, other materials to support or clarify certain topics.

The constellation work can be done with slips of paper by noting on each piece of paper a family member who is important for the constellation.

To ensure that there is no mental cinema, the client distributes the notes unread in the room or has them distributed if the session takes place online. By placing herself on the slips of paper, the therapist briefly connects with person x who is on the slip of paper. In this way, she collects initial impulses on the respective topic, the atmosphere. Only then will the cards be revealed.

Through various questioning techniques, a picture is created, always oriented towards the question and finding a solution that helps the client move forward. By changing something, he can change the entire system around him.

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